DMC – Have Fun (Or Else)

Have fun is one of my favorite expressions. I say it all the time. I believe it’s integral to our survival. So much of what we do appears painful or at the very least perfunctory. But the question of how our group attracts new members should be integral to all that we say or do. The simple answer is to make our order as attractive as possible to people looking in. Many of our members and Odd Fellow lodges fall into a comfortable rut. Reciting ritual work or chanting something else from memory. While it may seem impressive to have committed something to memory, it is not attractive to someone looking in – on the contrary, it may seem belittling to someone new.

Many of us who have been in the Odd Fellows for years have a lot of mileage and experience to contend with, perhaps not all of it positive, but of course, negativity does not attract anyone, as the rules of attraction are simple. Remember when you were young, the most popular kids were generally the kids who sent a message of happiness. In my youth, the popular kids had the biggest parties, and tended to be having an exciting time every opportunity I had to interact with them. Of course, therefore they were popular, because they were greatly admired, and in many cases, emulated.

It’s common sense, really. Negativity, prejudice, hatred, despair, all succeed only in driving people away. Happiness is an attraction without qualification. I’ve always been surprised by many who run for office in our order, because they often descend into name-calling, obsessive hatred, pettiness, and yet are shocked when they fail to get elected. People are generally smarter than we give them credit for. Most people want happiness, pleasant interactions, truth, and yes, love. After all, it is the implication our order sends. Those of us who want to lead by fear, or punitive behavior, are only kidding ourselves. Leadership means to lead by example, not by wielding a club, but extending an open hand and heart.

Of course, it’s a trend of those of us who have been in the order for a while to look at the newest among us with suspicion, but this distrust is generally borne out of ignorance. Most people, young or old, want mainly to be known as good human beings; it’s hard to imagine anyone wishing it any other way. The older members are used to tradition, while the younger members seek innovation, and neither direction is bad, so somehow both must be encouraged with the same level of energy.

Finally, my deeply wondrous theory of “have fun” has some basis in fact, since the Odd Fellow lodges that tend to grow are those with the most events and occasions. It’s hard to imagine a lodge with very few active members, no events, no refreshments, and punitive behavior growing. It will not happen. The straightest line is the most direct and easiest path. Both smiles and frowns are infectious, but smiles attract, while frowns repel. If we want growth, a smile is what will bring them in and keep them happy.

In Friendship, Love, and Truth, Rick Boyles

 
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